I will remain single for eternity because of a fictional character

The internet is full of single girls complaining about being single, counting the reasons why they are single, naming all the men they wish would make them un-single, and using their singleness as a reason to cry and eat ludicrous amounts of chocolate. Disclaimer: this is going to be one of those posts. Kind of.

I’ve been single for pretty much all of my life. I should be the poster child for Unrequited Love. I’ve come to accept it and while it does make me angsty and sullen sometimes, for the most part I try to enjoy the perks of being unattached. For one, this job would be a lot harder if I had gone into it while in a relationship. Long distance is rough (I’m watching a lot of my coworkers go through it right now) and I’m not sure I would have even been willing to take this job and move twelve hours away if I had a fella back home.

I suppose I could try to attribute my singleness to something normal, like the fact that I’m a commitment-phobe (not really true), I always pick the wrong guys (kind of true), I don’t put myself out there (true), or I suck at flirting (very true), but I think I have one main problem contributing to my perpetual state of unattached-ness: I want every guy I meet to be Jim Halpert.

Hear me out. I have been watching The Office for seven seasons, and I am certain that Jim Halpert has all the desirable qualities I could ever wish for in a man.

1. He is funny without being a dick. Do you know how often I find guys like this? ALMOST NEVER.
2. His hair. It’s perfect. Enough said.
3. He takes his job seriously without being too serious. He still wants to do well at his job, and he puts in a conscious effort, but he’s not above starting an Office Olympics or making friends with his coworkers.
4. He’s a family man. (Okay, now I’m really starting to sound like a crazy single girl. I don’t need a family man just yet, but I’ll obviously need to find one eventually.) His devotion to Pam and his daughter is about the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen on television.
5. Umm hi, did you even SEE the episode where he and Pam got married and he gave a toast at the rehearsal dinner?!
6. His face. In general.

So there you have it. Jim Halpert has given me unrealistic expectations about men. I know he is just setting me up for disappointment, but I can’t help it that my heart skips a beat every time he makes one of his faces at the camera. If you have found your Jim Halpert, kudos to you. I’m still looking or mine, and I’m determined to keep searching until I find him.

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